A Guide for Mother of the Groom

If your son is getting married you may be wondering a few things about being Mother of the Groom, like what is the etiquette, what are your roles and what should the Mother of the Groom wear? We’re here to help you navigate this important role and understand your responsibilities and how you can get involved in your son’s big day.
Joanna mother of the groom wearing grace coat midnight

What are the responsibilities of Mother of the Groom?

Traditionally the Mother of the Bride has the majority of the responsibilities but in recent years the Mother of the Groom has become an integral part of the wedding planning process. If you want to get involved in the wedding but aren’t sure where to start here are a few ways in which you can help, of course the final decision will always be at the discretion of the happy couple.

What a Mother of the Groom can help with before the wedding

There are a many ways in which the Mother of the Groom can offer their help and support before the wedding day.

Guest List Guidance

Weddings are one of the few times when the whole family comes together so it may be helpful to sit down with the groom and make sure that they haven’t forgotten an aunt or cousin. Of course the final decision as to whether to invite some one or not comes down to the couple’s choice but offering a cheat-sheet for the groom to ensure no one gets forgotten is a great way to offer practical help.

Family Representative

You’re about to join two families together so as the Mother of the Groom you can be the representative of the groom's family and ensure that the bride’s family feels welcome. Offer to host an engagement party or ask the bride’s family to lunch before the big day to give everyone an opportunity to get to know each other. This is also a great time to get close with the Mother of the Bride and get connected as communication between the two of you will be key for the wedding day and outfit choices. You could also ask the bride about the hen do as this may be a great opportunity to meet the bridal party and bond with your new daughter in law.
Bridal party with 4 bridesmaids, bride, groom and mother and father of the groom with mother of the groom wearing blue lyra coat

Family Traditions

Traditionally the groom’s family pays for the engagement and wedding rings as well as sending the invites on the groom’s behalf, discuss with the couple whether you will be following these traditions and how you want to go about them. Set a budget, agree invite designs, offer advice on purchasing the rings, these are all great ways to help the couple and be involved in the big day. Also be sure to discuss any of your own family traditions you might want included well before the wedding, whether it’s a family heirloom ring or a cultural tradition be sure to give the couple plenty of notice so they can consider how to integrate it into their plans.

Be a Helping Hand

Whether it’s hosting the rehearsal dinner (as is traditional for the groom’s family), helping to plan the ceremony or going to florists with the bride to help choose flowers there are lots of ways the Mother of the Groom can help plan the wedding. The best way to know you are being a help rather than a nuisance is just to ask the couple what they need help with!
Cynthia, mother of the groom, standing with her son in a lyra coat

Mother of the Groom on the Wedding Day

Help to Greet Guests

One of the traditional ways for a Mother of the Groom to help on the wedding day is to greet guests and making sure everyone is where they need to be. Get to know the guest list and take the pressure off the happy couple by making sure you know who needs to be where, this is especially helpful when it comes to photos where you can be sure that all of the groom’s family are ready to go for the family photos.

Mother-and-son Dance

One of the loveliest traditions of the wedding is the Mother-and-Son dance. Take this moment with your son and enjoy yourself. The hard part is over by this point so it’s your sign to relax and celebrate!
bride and groom with grooms parents, mother of the groom wears a nehru coat in narnia

What to wear as Mother of the Groom

Your Mother of the Groom outfit may be one of the first things you think of when you start planning for your son’s wedding. There are a few things to consider when choosing your outfit.

The Mother of the Bride takes the lead

Traditionally the mother of the bride chooses her outfit first then communicates the style, colour, length and level of formality of the outfit. If for whatever reason you can’t keep in touch with the Mother of the Bride about this then reach out to the bride to find out the dress code for the bridal party.
Mother of the groom in blue lyra coat with bride, groom and father of the bride.

Consider colours

Generally you want to stand out from the bridesmaids but not be the centre of attention, find out what colour the bridesmaids are wearing and choose a colour which compliments. This may mean choosing a different shade of the same colour, choosing a complimentary colour or choosing a pattern with a colour which ties to the theme. For example if the bridesmaids are wearing pink but blue is more your colour you could choose a floral design with a blue background and pink flowers, or take a leaf out of Kate's book (below) and wear a jacket in a colour matching the pink of the groomsmen's ties.

Layer up

As the wedding goes from day to night it’s always useful to have layers to help keep you warm. Don’t leave these as an afterthought, a shawl in a matching fabric to your dress is a stylish addition to your outfit. We also have shawls to match all of our cashmere jackets so you can take off your jacket at dinner and keep your shawl on staying outfit comfortable while still keeping your outfit looking perfect.
mother of the groom outfit, orange silk dress with shawl
However much responsibility you decide to take on your son’s wedding is sure to be a wonderful day. If you need a little more inspiration on what to wear take a look at our Mother of the Groom outfit guide or if you want to be able to try our beautiful silk and cashmere clothes on in person and receive one-on-one guidance then book an appointment to visit our Gloucestershire showroom. We can’t wait to see you!